Preparing Your Heart for Marriage

If you have a longing to be married, you most likely have an idea of some traits you desire in your future spouse. But have you considered what he desires in you? In my previous post, “Praying for Your Future Husband,” I addressed some characteristics that you as a praying single woman should be earnestly seeking in a future husband. I mentioned a list that I earnestly pray over and desire in the man I marry one day.

As I write this, I am asking God to give me the right words to say. I also ask God to bless you as a reader and to give you encouragement, motivation, and insight as you pray for yourself and your future husband. While you are in your season of wondering and waiting, you can be praying passionately for the men in your life. This could be men from church, work or men you’ve known for a long time. Pray that they will have God’s vision for marriage in their own lives, even if one of them doesn’t end up being your spouse, your prayers will bless your sisters in Christ.

Most people have unrealistic expectations of relationships. We are constantly bombarded by Hollywood movies, social media, magazines and books that paint marriage as a fairy tale with the knight in shining armor rescuing the beautiful damsel. We buy into the lie that love includes men looking like Brad Pitt and women as beautiful as Gal Gadot. We as women adore the idea of being carried off into the sunset with a blissfully perfect marriage, perfect dream house, and perfectly behaved children. But this is not realistic. You should be desiring a man of God while striving to be woman of integrity and purity.

And you are certainly not a damsel. You are a princess of the King of Kings, the God of the Universe. According to, “A princess [/prince] is a princess [/prince] regardless of her [/his] attire or her [/his] circumstances.” This means that no matter what you look like, what you wear, or how many followers you have on Instagram, God expects you to be kind, humble, and compassionate. You were made in the very image of God, and are already beautiful and perfect in His eyes.

So, dear princess, while you continue to long for and search for your prince charming, here are some traits of a godly wife to ask God for to help prepare YOU for marriage.

  • You are truthful in what you say and do. You are not deceitful or self-driven. Your words and actions are honest, pure, and intentional. You are not excessively sarcastic, have crude humor, or dirty jokes that can be destructive in your relationship or marriage. You do not talk negatively about him behind his back. She speaks wise words and teaches others to be kind – Proverbs 31:26.
  • You are gentle and respectful. You are not disrespectful, aggressive, hostile or manipulative of your husband, you listen and honor him. She does him good and not harm for as long as she lives -Proverbs 31:12.
  • You are diligent and hard-working. Not just at a workplace, but also at your home. You are honest in your endeavors and work hard to provide comfort in your home. She looks for wool and flax and likes to work with her hands. She gets up while it is still dark and prepares food for her family; she does her work with energy and her arms are strong – Proverbs 31:13, 15, 17.
  • You serve others with a love of Christ. You help others who need you and you do so with a willing heart and gentle spirit. She welcomes the poor and helps the needy – Proverbs 31:20.
  • You take care of your family. You work hard to make your house a home, and take care of your children and husband. She watches over her family and never wastes her time. Her children speak well of her. Her husband also praises her saying, “there are many fine women, but you are better than all of them”- Proverbs 31:27-29.
  • You are prudent in financial matters. You make wise financial decisions and use it to better your family and home. She inspects a field and buys it. With money she earned, she plants a vineyard – Proverbs 31:16. 
  • You seek to do what is right and have a good reputation. You are known as a woman who strives to do the right thing, take care of your family, and are a friend to others. She is strong and is respected by the people – Proverbs 31:30-31.
  • You seek biblical wisdom.
  • You have a heart of compassion.
  • You have a great love for the Word of God.
  • You are patient and kind.

Now, here’s a guide to help you pray.

  • Pray for your relationship with God. Pray that you will seek God’s kingdom first and  desire His approval before any other earthly person’s.
  • Pray for your purity. That you will honor the sanctity of marriage and guard your heart and mind.
  • Pray for your relationship with others. Ask God to give you patience and kindness when you are around brothers and sisters in Christ.
  • Pray for you to have peace whether God brings you a husband or not.

If you are struggling with gratefulness and feel discouraged about your current life situation, I encourage you to start a gratitude journal. This will allow you some self-reflection to be grateful for what you currently have while in your season of wondering and waiting. You can download a free copy of my 30-day journal here.


Copyright “The Practical Pineapple” by Lauren Harrell. Date published July 10, 2017.


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