How to Make the First Move

Um. Okay…ladies. Let’s get serious, here. You like a guy, you think he’s interested in you, yet, you’re still waiting for him to do something. Annoying, right?

Men can show some clear signs that they are interested in you, but when it’s time to make a move (like ask you out or get your number), nothing happens. Listen, it’s not you, it’s them. No, really, it’s them.

I mean…think about it. He has to approach the woman, ask her out, fear rejection, come up with a creative date idea, start a conversation, and keep the date going. That’s a lot of pressure. Help him out by reading him first.

  1. Look at the signs. Does he laugh at your jokes, make eye contact with you, or find ways to touch you? You’ll know the signs when a guy is interested in you. You need to pay attention when you’re with the guy and see how he acts when he is around you.
  2. Then, read his body language. If he’s leaning into you and mirroring your body movements, that generally means that he’s interested. That’s not 100% given. For example, the room could be loud and he’s being polite by leaning in to hear you better. But assess the situation, and see how he acts around you versus other women.
  3. Be casual. He may like you, but may be nervous. So, remove the extra pressure and play it cool. The less pressure he feels, the better.
  4. Find out if he’s single. I’ve spoken to a couple of guys, only to find out later they had a girlfriend. Know the feeling? Don’t be rude or ignorant, but if you find out they aren’t available, then politely move on to someone else.
  5. Don’t show jealousy. If another girl approaches him and starts talking, don’t let it bother you. (At least, don’t make it known how you’re feeling.) Swallow it up and act casual.
  6. Show you’re interested. If he’s showing the body language and signs that he’s interested, do it back. Touch his arm, flirt, and make eye contact. But, there’s a line between desperation and interest, so walk that line very carefully.
  7. If you get rejected, move on. If you get the answer you may not have wanted, don’t let it bother you. Rejection is normal, and everybody gets rejected in some way.
  8. Don’t make it obvious that you’re making a move. He may be nervous or shy, which is why he is hesitant making a move. So, if you’re making the move, don’t rub it in his face that you’re taking charge. It’s not really a confidence booster. Besides, who cares that you moved first?

Once you’ve established that there is potential, then you can proceed to making your move.

  1. Take him somewhere casual and with other people you both know. Ask him to join you on a trip, or to a friend’s house to watch a baseball game. This allows him to open up more about what he likes. (Conversation starter…am I right?)
  2. Once you’ve been around each other in a group setting, you can see how he acts around others. How does he treat your friends? If you have mutual friends, great. They can help point out things about him that you may not have noticed. If not, still ask your friends to tag along, but let him know it will be in a group environment so he’s not taken off-guard.
  3. I recommend that on a first date, you stay clear of the movies. Not much time for talking during the movie. You can talk after the movie, of course, but consider doing a movie date after you’ve had at least one date beforehand.

Good luck, ladies, and if you have any other suggestions, let me know in the comments section below.


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